i know you are but what am i

the worst halloween decorator ever and her accuser circa 1999
i was accused this week of being "the worst halloween decorator....ever"
ok. i can handle that. i've been called worse. but i must defend myself here.
first of all, i'm not the worst halloween decorator ever....i once worked with a woman who dressed her muffy bear in a different halloween costume every week and displayed, said bear, in her front window 'scene'.
i'm, simply, not the worst.
i just have a few things going against me.
the weather for one. ya. the 90 degree, autumnal... WEATHER. ever tried getting your fall-on when you have a heat rash on the back of your knees from your new 'fall' boots ?
the other thing is that i'm getting, unfairly, compared to neighbors who really love halloween decorating {on a level you've never experienced}
let me share with you some of my halloween dos~ all with a very restrained hand:
black toile:
this is scary stuff. I had a bathroom papered in toile a few years ago and my, then, 3 year old was terrified to go in to the room. from the mouth of babes. scary. and scarier in black. i like pillows and maybe a runner made of toile.
black crows:
martha {our lord and savior} made the best ones. but she no longer has them available. which sort of blows because my new 'step-dogs', {2 large labs who are akin to having big dumb, blonde quarterbacks lumbering through my home} have taken to playing a swift game of toss-and-chomp with my old ones. not nearly as life like, this one was found at plum party. the great white pumpkin:
how can you not love a white , or gray , pumpkin. even those crazy organic looking ones are fantastic. they all have that hazy dusty hue? i could stop right here with the decor. oh, except the dogs. the dogs would probably eat these too.
above photos courtesy of housemartin
yes, a wreath. a simple wreath~
when did i become a wreath person? seriously, this is coming perilously close to windsock usage. you know when? when my kids guilted me into it. the black crows, white pumpkins and toile weren't cutting it.
i begrudgingly ended up with the pumpkin number, above {about which joni, duly, teased me} that's not a navy ribbon but i love the idea of using navy instead of ink black.
vintage decor {or vintage inspired}:
a little vintage decor makes for a great touch. weird+vintage is always creepy and it brings a little humor to the party. there are some great 'new' vintage finds out there. {the fact that this is such large type is not exponential to its importance. i just can't get this out of "large" type}
while rummaging around my bookmarked sites, i came across this shot, which seems like it would be such an easy thing to do and with seemingly great results:
another goody found at housemartin
or these ideas from our lord and saviour's home page:
i could rig up the chandie shown above. and if i had a little north eastern, nook of woods in my back yard, this would be doable.
you know what? i could be that mom. that best halloween decorator ever. but first i need to go the beach, and cool off in the surf.


I don't normally go all out with decorating for the holidays. I hate those huge blow up inflatables that people put on their front yards. But I love your idea of using black toile for Halloween. I believe I even a toile table runner somewhere in my house that I must unearth. I also love your idea of white pumpkins. I'm on a big white kick lately. I'm dying to paint my wood floors white, my brick fireplace white. Bascially if you sit still long enough i'll want to paint you white!

I did my small part of holiday decor with some skulls around the front lawn and I also got a black wreath that I dressed up with cob webs and spiders.
beachbungalow8 said…
white. white floors, I AM WITH YOU! i just can't be put out for two weeks while the floors get a nice white veneer of paint. I did that once with the dark brown.
beachbungalow8 said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said…
I totally remember that costume. You showed me a picture of it, and you said it was hilarious because the ears bouced around, but if you laughed she got self-conscious.

I wouldn't dream of decorating for Halloween.
MaryBeth said…
I don't decorate for Halloween because nobody comes to my house at all. But even when we were little we didn't even carve pumpkins in my neighborhood, but we did hit every house in a 2 mile radius. When did this start???? But I do love love love the pathway of carved pumpkins, at my old house we would put luminaries up and down the street, that was really pretty. MB
Style Court said…
You look so pretty in the first pic Megan. Great ideas. Those Martha by Mail crows were nice. I have a book with her carved pumpkins too. Never bought the carving kit though :)
Beth said…
i love how martha can bring halloween out of the tacky trenches and makes it truly a classy holiday.
Anonymous said…
someone sent me a pic of carved pumpkins titled "When Pumpkins Drink Too Much". They all looked drunk. Really drunk. My favorite was the one heaving out his pulp and seeds.
pve design said…
Oh, you are making me give a hoot about Halloween, Rats, time to decorate. I am the worst.
Karena said…
Too funny Megan! Some people do just go all out for every single holiday! (not me)
Okay, so wait! Megan: what about little baby doll heads sprinkled all about on the lasagna that I plan to take over to our neighbors for the Boo! Potluck? Too gruesome? Plus, Scott and I will be going as corpses (probably the only ones not dressed as French Maids, Nurses, or doctors).

Thoughts? Maybe baby doll heads and arms and other dismembered limbs popping out of some baked good? say a popover or biscuit?

(I just made myself laugh out loud)
I'm with you about the heat. Those witch hats are hot if the weather doesn't cooperate.

White and pale green pumpkins are divine and fortunately for me, my Martha Owls are still perky.

I have to confess... I adore that black toile.
beachbungalow8 said…
style court, pulleeeze. thank you.

anne, you nailed it .that was back in our painting class wednesdays! i think the photo was taken with me laughing, saying, 'quick! quick! before she knows we're laughing!'

oh bb~ can i call you that? ok, you know i'd be right there with you, stirrin' up great halloween scariness. are you guys going to walk around with your arms straight out, refusing to break character? sort of like, rensaissance thespians?

pamela i love toile. but it's also scary.
beachbungalow8 said…
when did halloween become a decorating holiday?
beachbungalow8 said…
btw, shout out to my mom ..... momdaw.

i love moms. they're always your fan.
Mrs. Blandings said…
I love, love, love this post and especially the picture of you in costume, which I'm going to keep and produce when you deny its existence. The silhouette idea is the greatest thing ever. I could do that. You could do that while you are sitting on the beach. Your hand might get a little sweaty with the scissors, so take an extra towel. I'm so glad you are the worst - I so thought I was.

btw - I had to go to a party "in costume" last year and I wore the Bud delivery guy shirt that I talked the delivery guy out of when I worked at the Bull. Not the one he was wearing, just to clarify.
beachbungalow8 said…
mrs b~ pod~ that is not a costume! oh god, this is back in my day of prada slip ons and burberry barn jackets~ i write this as i wither. i was trying for 40 when i was 30.

but still, i AM the worst at holiday decor.
Ivy Lane said…
love the photo of you and your daughter, she is ADORABLE in that photo and you look amazing! I don't know when Halloween became a decorating holiday..probably when Ms. Stewart said so!! HA HA! I have one wreath on the door and that is it!! I start decorating around Thanksgiving...for Christmas...that's about all i can take!! And ... again!!! You are one lucky duck to be able to go cool off in the surf!!! I am so jealous!!! :)
Ann said…
Now that I've seen your Halloween projects, I'm convinced I'm the worst. I think it's time for me to really give a crap about this Halloween decorating. I'm pretty much inspired now.
Anonymous said…
My 5 year old daughter loves, loves, loves holiday decorations. She draws pictures and tapes them around the house. Me, I disdain the clutter of decorations and the effort to store, pull out and take down - it's all too crazy and commercial for me. Halloween: Carving a pumpkin - absolulely. A single strand of lights, a greenery wreath, and some paperwhites is all I want at Christmas. A neighbor, who obviously was annoyed with me, brought us a 4 foot polyester stuffed witch which is truly tacky and lacking any aesthetic value - my daughter thinks it's most fabulous and it's presently sitting in a dining room chair taunting me to throw it in the trashcan and swear to my daughter that I don't know what happened.
PS: i'm in coastal orange county and love the s.cal beach vibe of your musings.
Mrs. Blandings said…
Megan - this doesn't make it better, in fact, it might be worse. The shadow made me think you were wearing cat ears. I wasn't going to tell you, but Shack thought it was hilarious. Your outfit is chic as always.
beachbungalow8 said…
oh my god, i can see that now. i do look like i'm doing a cat costume. i always wore black in SF....before i owned white dogs.
Visual Vamp said…
Ah holiday decorating season is upon us!!!
Here in New Orleans it sarts in earnest with Halloween (and the weather is not very Fall-like here either ha ha).
And then it segues into the harvest Thanksgiving stuff. Then Christmas which segues into Carnival/Mardi Gras hoopla. So for the next 5- 6 months we festoon decorate and decorate and festoon! Help me please!!!!!
I don't have kids, but I still get suckerd into it!
When we had our dance studio it made more sense to decorate for all the holiday themed parties. Now that we closed that money pit, I still have a shed load full of decorations (including those crows!) that I drag out and slop on the outside of the house.
Every year I buy tons of candy for the dwindling amount of kids who trick or treat. Unless you live in gated suburb places, so few kids come around anymore!
I long for the days as portrayed in the movie To Kill A Mockingbird.
Anyhoo, I think I'll add some swags of black toile this year!
xo xo xo
Anonymous said…
Megan, check eBay for the crows from MSL. I bought her Christmas polar bears of straw and had a casualty, and found a replacement on eBay.

Die laughing every time you refer to MS as Our Lord And Savior. Just irreverant enought to make me guffaw out loud!
cotedetexas said…
i never decorate for anything. ever.

thanks for the shout out and the memory of one of the funniest nights of my life when I almost peed in my pants, probably actually did at this age of 53.11 - the wreath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
omg - i am cracking up right now thinking about it!!! the garaoffice. with all that crap in it. and you just sitting there working. love the picture - you are too pretty for words!
beachbungalow8 said…
halycon, GREAT, idea. i'm there.

joni, are you dying? do you remember that night? i had tears rolling down my face. that was the most hysterical conversation

and holidays? it's just difficult to decorate for seasonal holidays in L.A. nothing feels right.
Karena said…
I do remember how it was difficult to really get in the holiday spirit the thireteen years I lived in San Diego. That is why I came home to KC as often as possible!
I rarely ever decorate for Halloween, but have for several years been in charge of our Ladies Halloween Golf Scramble at the Club and have enjoyed decorating for that. I have found some "delightful?" witches and mummies, bats , etc. to add to my eerie collection.
So that has been kind of fun!
I howled when I read Mrs. Blandings post and yours when she thought you were in a cat costume in the photo! Too funny!
Have a good day......I enjoy your Blog, Megan!
David said…
I don't decorate for halloween, but I do carve a pumpkin or two. Restoration's pumpkin carving kit has some great tools in it.

When I'm not feeling like that much work I'll do the old Martha standby and drill a pattern into my pumpkin and poke white Christmas lights through from the inside.
Fifi Flowers said…
Carved pumpkins on October 31st is the extent of my Fall/Halloween decorating... I will gladly take the award away from you and be called the worst Halloween mom!
KarenB said…
I think I'll comment during my first visit here. I purposely don't decorate for Halloween. Martha or whoever put it over the top. I have a neighbor with a giant purple spider on a massive "web" on the front of his house along with some kind of blow-up carriage with skeletons in it. I haven't even looked that closely. Tacky, tacky. I do put out tons of pumpkins and gourds with my "fall" planters. Here in SoCal, it's so hard to get in the mood!

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