as a new mom, we all made and will make little mistakes. my personal favorite was the hiring of our first babysitter to take care of our then 6 month old baby (up until this point i was so paranoid of leaving her with anyone, i basically did nothing but sit and coo at her from the confines of my home)so i walked into a new mother's resource service in noe valley.but not scary. she was sweet and had a nursing background. what could be better? sure she was a bit funky but i like that in a person. so every other day, sophie would come to my house, in her vintage fur stole and torn fishnets and take my baby on walks or play with her on the floor all the while softly speaking en francais. but more often than not she seemed, not well. she was pale to begin with and the dyed black hair, didn't help. and one time, i swear she jumped up and ran to the bathroom, index finger to mouth paler than her normal palor.and she was super skinny. SUPER skinny. i asked her about her 'home' life, she had a fiance or an ex-husband or something, who was in a band and she lived with someone who had bondage stuff in their room. but she didn't really know the person. she had to move there when her ex kicked her out. they were just roomates. weird. drama. ok, around now, the red light started to flicker for me. i had a lot of talks with people the ones that end with 'is that weird? or am i just being paranoid?'. and then one day, sophie didn't show. just a no show. i called her. no answer. never saw her again. i changed my locks. fast forward 8 years. i'm watching this incredible documentary, 'DIG!' (see the trailer stop it at 1:38 ) and there's a scene with the lead singer of the brian jonestown massacre (a great band btw) shooting heroin with his wife sophie. i sat up and hit stop on the dvd. there she was, all strung out. my babysitter. MY sophie. lying on a dirty mattress crying with a rubber band around her arm. and it was the same year she was working for me!!! so in short, i the original 'smother' who was so freaked out about leaving my one and only, precious child with anyone, left her with a freaking HEROIN ADDICT!!!!! i hear sophie got married to someone else and is living happily ever after in tahiti (which is where her parents live) and that's the story of my first of many mistakes made parenting.